Lunar Eclipse

This moon makes me want to cry tears of joy and sadness for every person I have ever loved. #moonshine #mysoulsmile #thisdaywillnevercomeagain

Storm watchers

They are watching the April storm come in. #thunderstorms #springshowers #april2014

Rainy Day journals

Putting pen to paper makes sense today. Sometimes writing in beautiful journals is the only way to write.  #dreams #ideas #thoughts

Sea of Cortez

Recently I became bothered with the idea that my  restlessness might be a need to “replant” myself.

So I consciously took some time to contemplate what that might mean and how I might do it..

These are some questions I asked myself…

What have I been or not been as a mother, wife, friend, and human?

Where have I been and where do I hope to go with my teaching vocation?

How and where will I live out the rest of the days of my life, be it one year, two years, one week or even one day!?  

All the questions have been helpful and the answer I have concluded with is that I have actually been in need of “unplanting” or sprouting and cultivating new leaves.  New nutrients in the form of new experiences has actually made me feel more grounded.

Brayde and I, by way of his hard work and dedication were able to take a trip to Los Cabos, Mexico and experience the rich culture and delightful experience of Cabo San Lucas, Todos Santos and La Paz.

There we experienced the  much louder roar of the ocean as it hit the rocks abruptly with no gradual waves, we drove up the Pacific Coast and saw the lay of the land and mountains and met a special new friend Daniel (Lee Giju).

While there were many other interactions that planted something in my soul, there were none that gave me a sense of perspective like snorkeling with the whale sharks in the Sea of Cortez. Yes WHALE SHARKS!

My 5ft. frame in the the beautiful clear water with a whale shark over 3 times my length helped me to realize that I am such a small part of my universe and it was truly humbling.  I was ecstatic when I caught my first full view swimming over the whale shark!  I had to turn my head as far left and right as I could to see the full length of this gigantic fish!  I did have some fear the first time I jumped off the side of the boat, but on the fourth and last time I don’t recall even waiting for the Captain’s ok.

I would do it again in a heartbeat!

I haven’t been thinking in terms of ‘replanting’ lately, but instead of ways to add different nutrients so that I might grow new leaves and deeper roots that will bear a variety of fruit.  

These are some pictures of our trip.

“The sea, once it casts its spell, holds one in its net of wonder forever.”

-Jacques Yves Cousteau

January man

I've been celebrating birthdays with this January man for 33 years! I baked the first cake for him in 1981 when we were college students at St.Edward's University in Austin.  He must have liked the cake. 

Reflections - A letter years in the making

Reflections-A letter years in the making and long overdue Christmas letter

January 14, 2014- Update on our family

Monica dares to do what only a few courageous people will,  and that is to follow her passion.   I remember so vividly after her visit to New York (10 yrs. old) with her grandparents, the sound of her sweet voice  saying that someday she was going to live there.

She is living where she knows that she can follow her passion as a poet. She lives courageously as she pursues her dream and when her vision becomes cloudy she examines and waits for the sun to shine again.  She inspires us and we still feel like we are being directed in one of her childhood plays in her presence. The courage started with her and we are thankful and love her deeply for it.

Rebekah continues to spread the joy of her nature and the passion of her work ethic in all that she pursues.  She has planted many seeds of love, kindness, inspiration and many have, and continue to reap the benefit.  She has learned the skills of perseverance  and discipline and we all admire her for it.  We crave her deep capacity for loving and nurturing and even her wise reprimands when needed.  She is a binding thread in our family tapestry and she is loved by many throughout the world.

Kindred continues to be a calm and strong presence in our lives and he holds true to his name Carl (farmer) as he cultivates and brings life to the landscape of every part of the earth he works.  He definitely has the gift of his father, grandfather and great-grandfather.  To be able to grow food in an instinctive way will no doubt be a life-giving skill for us all.  We admire that futuristic vision that only a farmer can have. We will depend on it as we continue our pursuit of wellness as a family. We admire and love him and his kindred spirit.

Bryden continues to provoke in us all the inclination to examine ourselves and what we truly say we believe.  His strong, kind and witty ways linger even after he is out of our presence.  He lives his life boldly, recklessly, passionately, undeterred and fully in the best of ways.  He has a heart full of love and he cares for his family deeply.  He takes that love a step beyond and is actively engaged in it by truly listening and deciphering what we care about so that he might share in it as well.  True love.

Given has discovered at a young age what it is to love and pursue a passion.  He is a Potter, and through clay with his hands and mind and beautiful pieces we are all called to take a closer look at art and life.  We are privy to the gift of the creator/creation scenario of an artist and the  emotional impression it can have on the owner of one of his pieces.  He is humbly becoming more aware of his gift and many are better for it.  Our family is better for it, and his gift is truly a gift to us all.  His knowledge of his craft are as impressive as he.

Noble has forced us this year to recreate the vision we have of her as a four year old little girl playing in the sand and great big ocean as she tries to convince us all that she is half human/ half mermaid.  She is indeed the hardest working most diligent 14 year old girl I know.  She pursues her interests wholeheartedly and when she discovers on her own that she does not fully enjoy one, she has the wisdom to let it go.  She loves her God, her older siblings, her family, her iphone and yes even her little brother.  We all love her back tremendously.

Justice, also known by many as ‘The Judge’,  is becoming his own person in his own right and is respected by his siblings, teachers and peers.  He is kind hearted and sharp minded and always stirs in us a deep smile.  He is a book lover and a thinker for many years now.  One of my favorite retells is of when he was 2 years old and in an apparent  daydream, and I asked him what he was doing, and much to my surprise and delight he answered, “I’m thinking.”  He continues to be a deep thinker and he loves all his older siblings and they love him back 6 fold.

Brayde and I find ourselves as always, talking and thinking  about each and every one of our children.  We are humbled by our failings,  humbled by our blessings, humbled by our children, and humbled that we are granted another year or day or hour to pursue this life path.

We humbly pray to our Creator for the courage to continue daily in the small matters of life hoping that they will matter,  if even in some small way in the hearts and lives of those who we care about so deeply.

We look ahead with softer eyes and in grateful anticipation to the days ahead.  

Much Love to you all,

Deanne

Thanksgiving 2013

Warming up the house and baking pie #1 #pumpkinpie! Given was the 1st to arrive about 1:00 a.m. 

Car Nap

The best naps are in the driveway in the car after a long day at school, with a cool fall breeze blowing. #thisdaywillnevercomeagain 

Joyous Numbered Days

The joy of knowing your days are numbered seems like a very odd notion to those  that I have mentioned this sentiment to.  Their response is often to cut me off and say something like, “You shouldn't think that way!”  But I DO think that way and it gives me a sense of quiet purpose.

I have been thinking about this for some time now.  I suppose it comes along with age or as a result of losing my mother when I was only 19 years old, but even when I was younger I contemplated this idea much.

I don’t view it as negative but as liberating.  I do admit that there are times when it makes me feel a bit panicked knowing that there are so many dreamy endeavors that I have not yet experienced or even worse some that I have not even attempted!  They're not all dreamy, but important and consist of routine and simple tasks like organizing files and pictures for my children.

The list is long and even old.  

Some things on the list are entirely selfish like, visiting the Redwood forest, driving through a Sequoia tree, ( a picture I saw once in a grade school textbook) the Vatican, or viewing the lights in Marfa.

But some are simple like gracing a young couple in my family with a treat like filling their pantry to the brim or surprising family members with a dinner and a great bottle of wine,  or getting together with old friends, and even better with friends that also happen to be family.  The list is long and I don’t know if I will ever get it done, but it gives me purpose to think about doing so.

As Providence would have it, Sunday’s homily nudged me to write down what I have only been contemplating as of late.  

I am always struck by the heaviness of the weight we carry both physically and mentally, whenever I recall the days after the loss of a loved one.   There are two times in particular that come to mind when I think of how meaningless our worldly possessions are and how important the love we leave behind is.  The first was after my mother died and I walked into her closet and buried my face in her clothes.  The second was after my father-in-law died and I walked into his garage and looked around at the years of carefully collected and organized tools and gadgets. They left  for us memories and emotions  that can be brought to mind whenever we think of them.   However, they both left with nothing and they left light and unburdened.

I mention the above mostly for my own benefit as a try to prepare daily for the two most important times in my life.  Those times are the ‘now’ and at the ‘hour’ of my death.  

Living in the now has proven to be more difficult than it seems.  So I will  focus daily on that goal, that purpose, and trust that all the ‘NOWS’ will someday be enough for the ‘Last Hour.’

“Now and at the hour of my death.”  ( A Catholic Prayer)

I KNOW my days are numbered and there is joy and soft sadness in knowing that.

“I was not aware of the moment when I first crossed the threshold of this life.  What was the power that made me open out into this vast mystery like a bud in the forest at midnight?  When in the morning I looked  upon the light I felt in a moment that I was no stranger in this world, that the inscrutable without name and form had taken me in its arms in the form of my own mother. Even so, in death the same unknown will appear as ever known to me. And because I love this life, I know I shall love death as well.  The child cries out when from the right breast the mother takes it away to find in the very next moment its consolation in the left one.” ~ Rabindranath Tagore

A part of a favorite poem of mine first published in December 1912 in Poetry Magazine.

Thomas Merton wrote “Today will never come again.”

This sentiment brings to light the importance of Now!  Living in the now and appreciating every day given IS in part, my purpose.  

Humbly Seeking Purpose,

Peace and Justice

Solidarity

We are one human family whatever our national, racial, ethnic, economic, and ideological differences. We are our brothers and sisters keepers, wherever they may be. Loving our neighbor has global dimensions in a shrinking world. At the core of the virtue of solidarity is the pursuit of justice and peace. Pope Paul VI taught that if you want peace, work for justice.1 The Gospel calls us to be peacemakers. Our love for all our sisters and brothers demands that we promote peace in a world surrounded by violence and conflict. ~ Seven themes of Catholic Social Teaching

Celebrating A Half Century (+playlist)

Salt dough map

The salt dough map of the original 13 colonies he started days ago is finally finished! He is meticulous. We start another project tomorrow. 

First day of Fall 2013

On this day in September a cool Fall breeze made it to the the Coastal Bend and filled my heart with sweet memories of past days in Central Texas. But these days in Corpus Christi will be the past someday as well, so I will enjoy them fully. 

Happy Birthday Bryden

Cafe con leche and Dell

I'm taking it easy this Sunday afternoon with cafe con leche and my new Dell All in One. The reward of getting my office in order!